``blithe indifference
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
「 auditited on 11:31:00 PM 」


i dont know why im feeling kind of low lately. it's like i can go out with people and go all quiet n moody, just not myself. i can be surrounded by people and yet feel so alone. i wish im invisible at times. i get agitated so easily. im sure this is getting quite abnormal................ i do wish it will wear off soon..... ): cos ive been feeling pretty miserable and out of sorts lately and this side of me totally sucks. sorry guys if ive been a spoilsport. ): ): ):

however i do suspect that subconsciously im being bothered by the following reasons:

(1) SCHOOOL. reopening. this time, without the 1989 peeps. the future is so very uncertain. i do hope next year would be a good year for me...
(2) SCHOOL......WORK. im so...... disturbed by this. i havent even touched anything related to school since holidays started. i didnt even bother to hand up my signed result slip. lol! not once have i been back to schoool. i think it's just my way of pretending that there is really no such thing as schoool. and of course, homework.
(3) THE FUTURE. im worried that i'll lose what i have now. especially the people whom i hold dearest to my heart. next year would be... so completely different.
(4) my own inadequacy. i really should learn to get over my own imperfections and love myself more. hahaaa..

despite everything..... im still very much lookin forward to the arrival of 2009. (: a fresh beginning for everything!

ohyeah. and i'm sorry im doing this on christmas. perhaps there really isn't anything wrong with me. perhaps it's just me feeling cranky because i woke up at 7pm to find myself allll alooooonnnnne at home on christmas. HAHA. ohwell. whatever it is, im sure it won't continue for looong..

will blog about christmas eve some other time cos im obviously not in the right mind to do so now. (:

i hope everyone else had a great christmas. many loves.