``blithe indifference
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
「 auditited on 2:12:00 AM 」


hi in case anyones wondering, im still very much alive! i think. i should really get outta my weird sleep routine.

anyway theres not much t blog about cos my days just feel kind of combined tog n i cant really remember all that happened.. everyday ends at 7am(or later) n starts at 4/5pm. why, thats how screwed i am! hahaaa. had a farewell gatherin for justin n royston on saturday. if i think about it i'll definitely miss having them around. royston, i dont really know. hardly got the chance to work with him but he's just a reaally nice person. quoted from siwei, 'a 4 yrold child trapped in a 22 yrold's body' haha! no bad intentions, easily conned. teehee. very caring too. as for justin... i'll definitely miss his 'ure so sweet' n 'okthxbye' n 'whatonly'. therethere i noticed all ur pet phrases! HAHA. great friend, great colleague. talks damn alot n therefore livens up the mood not once but many many times. thanks for the jellybeans n choco babies! UUU are so sweet :D well then tts 2 fewer pple in the settler's crew.. great loss. ):

n recently i was sitting at lido with siwei-- peiling left for work. we just had our meal n were sitting there tryin to while away 2 hours, waiting for great-oh-peiling to knock off. haha. a cleaner came up to our table n started clearin it. and then we talked to her cos we had to tell her tt we didnt wan the fries anymore, but still wanted the coke. blah, stuff lidat. n we just kept on talking n talking to her. finally aft she had cleared everyth, she smiled and showed us a tag worn around her neck. shes physically disabled. all along, she didn't catch a word of what we said. and somehow i felt a pang of sadness. it wasnt really pity, i dont think she needed or even wanted any form of sympathy. i just had a sudden thought that pple nvr ever stop wanting, nothing is ever enough. when ure handicapped, all u want is really to be like any other normal person. what about normal pple? u'll want to get rich, famous, popular and look good. n u think u'll stop at that. but take a look at those hollywood celebrities. even the most successful ones are striving for something more. tsk tsk the greed in us. but siwei n i both agreed that if u ever stop wanting, life would be completely meaningless. cos even wanting to be happy is a want.

and on monday, i attempted to study outside. i really did have the full intention to study. i brought out my physics notes, my pencil case, n a large bag to carry everyth in. unfortunately, the moment i took out my notes at ecp macs, all i wanted t do was t sleep. haha. or walk around. my sincere apologies, tersee :D anw ended up playin pool with settlers peeps till late. lol. what an attempt!

and okay im at a sort of dilemma now. what should i do?!!? i can truly say that ive tried, and failed. try as i might, i just can't get myself to have a passion for it. rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. life.

but hey tmrs shopping with peiling and siwei! then xmas card thingy! then staff night! OH-HOHO.