``blithe indifference
Sunday, April 10, 2005
「 auditited on 9:18:00 PM 」


lol just read puiyees blog and... i really don't know what to think or feel. i just know that it's damn true.

i guess it's all part of growing up. people grow up, people change. we look back into the past n wonder how things can turn out the way they are now. who are the ones to blame? who are the cause of the current situation? no one. it's no ones fault cos we can't help growing up. it's not our fault tt our thinkings have changed, our priorities have changed and our attitudes have changed. we did try to salvage the situation, din we? i think yes. i just like to think that we did. blame it all on growing up...haha. but deep inside we all know the reason.

seriously, i dun see the significance/importance of that useless thing. u receive it, naturally u'll feel elated n appreciated but damn, what about those who don't? spare a thought for their feelings. i know that feeling damn well cos i've already experienced it twice. haha it's no stranger to me. what's the point of that thing. who ever said tt the pple who gave those things out are always oh-so-right. what if the wrong people get it. issit even fair to those others who put in equally much efforts...or even more. dun tell me tt nothing is fair in the world cos it's not sumth i blardi believe in. to one person, this ting may serve as a tool of encouragement but to another person it does nothing but demoralises him. so what's the big deal. i dun give a damn about it now. i admit in the past i cared so much about it. but aft two times all hopes were gone. i really truly did try damn hard but it seemed like no matter how much time i've sacrificed no one seemed to recognise my efforts. n i felt a bit of unfairness there. then i started not caring so much. i slackened down n worked less hard. n then they gave it to me. wtf. now tt i tink of it i would rather they not. what's the pt of givin that thing to me only when i've stopped puttin in my best. to hell with it. it only serves to show the blindness. certain ppl who din derserve it got it. certain pple who derserved it din get it. so to those 2nd grp of pple they are supposed to work harder in order to qualify for it the nxt round...even though injustice had been done to them? what shit is that. i dun give a damn about it now cos i realised that it doesn't mean the people who get it are better than those who don't.

haha cum to tink of it i feel damn useless now. arhhhhhh.....cryin over sum childish and unimportant things. definitely not worth it. i know i was being ap larh. however i dun regret sayin tt i dun care abt the two stuff but regardin other things...duno if i've done the right ting anot. shyt.